What Are Your Offseason Plans?

Updated: October 31, 2012

So baseball is over, the Giants won the World Series, and my Mariners didn’t. It’ll be a good while before any big news comes out about trades, and the winter meetings are still far off, so what is a guy to do?

Aside from football, I don’t follow other sports much. Since the NBA robbed me of my basketball team, I haven’t been a fan, and although the Sounders (MLS) are good and are in the playoffs, I just don’t have the same passion for them. My heart has room only for baseball and football.

If you are suffering like I am about baseball (even though it just ended) I have some suggestions to help ease you through the offseason.

1. Go outside. There are things to do outside in the winter, lots of things to do. If you live up on the west coast go skiing or snowboarding; if you live in the midwest, go ice skating and play hockey; if you live in the northeast, pretend like your hills are mountains and pretend like your skiing and snowboarding is legitimate; and if you live in the south, sack the hell up! It’s 60 or 70 degrees out, go play baseball and think about how much less you’re sweating because it’s not summer.

2. Read some books. Now I know books can be boring, and I know I sound like a nerd when I tell you to read, but books are great. You know what? They even have books about baseball. Lots of them, actually. Apparently some people who read and write also like baseball. Here are some book suggestions: “The Art of Fielding,” “The Last Days of Summer,” “A Lefty’s Legacy,” “The Curious Case of Sidd Finch,” and for you Bostonians, “Now I Can Die in Peace.”

3. Work on yourself. Chances are there are some things about yourself that you wish you could improve upon. With all your free time–what’s not devoted to reading any baseball blog you can find–you’ll have time to make up those old New Year’s resolutions! Now I am not suggesting you do anything drastic (like go to the gym), I mean look introspectively, meditate and find out if you are truly happy with yourself. If you are happy with yourself, revel in it and go make a drunken fool of yourself because you are happy. If you find things you wish to change, work on changing them, or work on changing your wish to change them.

4. Make a baby. If you are in the position where you would like a baby, now is the perfect time. You wont have to choose between sex and watching your team on Wednesday night baseball, and if your team sucks next year, which it will, you’ll be so happy about your new child that it won’t matter. Also, a bonus for all you East Coasters… when the baby does come you’ll have some of the season left and that puts you in an ideal position: you can take “the late shift” with your obnoxious infant and there will be some quality West Coast games still on, so you can watch baseball while your partner is sleeping and look like a hero in the morning.

5. Hibernate. If you can manage it, be lazy, grow a beard, move to Alaska, and live in a cabin in the woods sleeping the days away ’till baseball comes back. Sooner than you think pitchers and catchers will be reporting and you can shave, shower, and head down to Arizona or Florida.

-David Ringold


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