Spam Poetry

Updated: January 19, 2013

Over at The Classical, a really high quality sports site run by professional people, they do something called Spam Poetics. It’s described as such:

We’ve got something of a problem with spam commentsover here, we know. In a perfect world, we would of course not have all these spam comments, and all of us would not need to read articles about sports in order to find outrageously great deals on bootleg Oakley sunglasses. But in the spirit of creative recuperation, and because there is some really great random English and semi-English in these spam comments, we’re going to mine these comments for their moments of poetry. As long as there are spam comments, there will be these poems.

Basically, periodically, they turn their spam comments from their website into poems. We also get hundreds of spam comments trying to sell this, that and the other thing so I’ve decided to take a crack at my own Spam Poem.

The truth is, I submitted this poem to David Roth over at the Classical and he mentioned that he might publish it on their site. He didn’t however and his loss is your gain because I’m going to run it here. Yes, this is Off The Bench’s first poem (made entirely of spam):


Thanks for Lunch


Excellent read,

I loved

I loved

I loved

I passed this to a friend

who spent their best days

in slavery.




But don’t relax just yet.

At the end of the war

There was no victor and no vanquished,

only cheap cleats.

Daily life

and even health

and wellness.


No deposit.

No intention of ultra.

The sector hopes

for the successful expertise

of video tutorial taped advice.


The legislature used very broad language,

thank you for helping us out.

You can definitely see

Your superb informations,

Muammar Qaddafi and Louis Vuitton outlets.


-Max Frankel




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