Marvel Heroes Baseball Roster
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You don’t really want a big introduction, do you? You get the idea, so let’s fast forward to the good part. We need a few rules though. 1) Heroes only, no villains. 2) There are more than a thousand Marvel characters in the comic books. That’s a bit much to sort through, so we’ll stick to those who have been portrayed in movies or TV in the relatively recent past.
Lineup
- C Beast- Beast, an original X-Men member, clearly has the body of a catcher. In fact, he kind of looks like Yogi Berra. He’s also a renowned doctor, scientist, and diplomat. Brains definitely help behind the plate.
- 1B Mr. Fantastic- Even though offense is traditionally more important than defense for first basemen, Mr. Fantastic’s super stretching abilities make throwing errors a thing of the past.
- 2B Spider Man- Your friendly neighborhood second baseman’s spidey sense lets him know when the ball is coming his way even before the batter makes contact. He may have to hide his web canisters from the umps though. Webbing probably counts as a foreign substance.
- 3B Daredevil- While he wouldn’t be the first blind third baseman, Daredevil’s exceptional reflexes and agility would make Matt Chapman blush. Besides, fictitious third basemen need to know how to take a licking.
- SS Black Panther- Black Panther is probably the most athletic Avenger. He profiles as a five-tool threat with great leadership skills to boot.
- LF Iron Man- It’s great to have outfielders who can literally fly. Iron Man packs a punch too, anchoring the middle of the lineup.
- CF Captain Marvel- Captain Marvel is so overpowered that she had to spend most of the Thanos saga off-world because she could’ve ended the whole thing herself. She’s just too incredible for the story arc. In other words, she’s our Mike Trout.
- RF Thor- We must eschew the obvious Noah Syndergaard reference because Thor wields Mjolnir like a bat. Mets fans won’t like this, but he’s really a lot more like Aaron Judge. (It’s okay– Mets fans don’t actually like anything; that’s why they’re Mets fans.)
- DH Thing- It’s clobberin’ time!
Bench
- C Professor X- Professor X probably can’t hit much and doesn’t run at all (literally), but it’s nice to have a telepathic catcher. He always knows what the batter is thinking. Besides, if he can manage the X-Men, he can certainly handle a pitching staff.
- IF Black Widow- With apologies to Steve Rogers, Black Widow is the real ultimate soldier. She’s the most versatile character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, competently carrying out all of Nick Fury’s plans. Her chameleon skillset and team-first mentality make her the ideal utility infielder.
- IF Jewel (aka Jessica Jones)- Jessica Jones is a better hitting second baseman than Spider Man, but she likely gets benched for attitude problems.
- OF War Machine- War Machine is basically the same as Iron Man without the wit, genius, or ego. On either the playing field or the battlefield, he’s Tony Stark’s backup.
- OF Quicksilver- Think Terrance Gore.
Rotation
- SP Captain America- Throwing a shield isn’t the same thing as throwing a baseball, but you have to admire his velocity and precision. Besides, the real Steve Rogers is the Montreal Expos’ career leader in WAR (45.1), wins, (158), and pretty much all counting stats.
- SP Loki- Right, we said no villains, but Loki was kind of a good guy towards the end. As the master of deception, it will be nearly impossible for batters to recognize what pitch is coming.
- SP Hawkeye- Hawkeye might not have top-notch stuff, but his command is impeccable. He never misses the catcher’s target.
- SP Winter Soldier- Once again we’re stretching the definition of a hero, but nobody’s got a better arm.
- SP Colossus- They might not play a lot of baseball in Russia, but Colussus is unbelievably durable. In the comics, he’s known for throwing Wolverine, so his best pitch is a cutter? That was a good joke, right?
Bullpen
- RP Doctor Strange- Doctor Strange’s use of the time stone is almost unfair for the hitter. They walk up to the plate, and in the blink of an eye the ump yells, “Strike three!”
- RP Gambit- Talk about an explosive fastball! Gambit will shatter a lot of bats, but there might be some truly tragic HBPs as well.
- RP Hulk- Ryne Duren pitched in relief for seven different MLB clubs from 1954-1965. He’s known as one of the most intimidating pitchers ever because he threw incredibly hard and had no idea where each pitch was going. Imagine stepping into the box against someone with the power and wildness of the Hulk!
- RP Human Torch- The “blazing fastball” jokes practically write themselves.
- RP Punisher- Punisher has excellent aim, but he’s definitely got a wild streak. He’s not terribly coachable either and has trouble following team rules.
- RP Storm- Keeping Storm on the team is the ultimate fail-safe. If the game is getting out of hand, she can create an instantaneous rain delay.
- RP- Wolverine- With his super stamina and recovery abilities, he’s the perfect rubber-armed long reliever. Bring him in to eat up some innings and let him stay out as long as you need. His arm will recover between innings.
