Checking in on Marble League 2020
I first wrote about Jelle’s Marble Runs back in May, when we didn’t yet know if MLB would be able to have a 2020 season. That was during the grueling off-season for the Marble League contestants, when the marbles were ramping up their training in preparation for the upcoming competitions. These top-notch marblathletes needed to be in peak physical condition for Marble League 2020.
Fast-forward two months and here we are. While the Nationals host the Phillies and the Dodgers host the Giants on Opening Day today(!), Marble League 2020 is well underway. Maybe the idea of baseball is still too much for you to handle. If that’s the case, we’ve got a full Marble League update here for you. If not, well…. baseball is back!
For those new to the Marble League, it’s a 16-team competition with 16 events (up from 12 in previous years). Four teams gained an automatic entry into Marble League 2020. This group included the top three finishers in Marble League 2019—Raspberry Racers, Green Ducks, and the Hazers—along with this year’s host, Team Galactic.
That left 12 spots available. The first competition for these open spots was the Marble League Showdown, followed by the Marble League 2020 Qualifiers. The four events at the Qualifiers were Balancing, Funnel Endurance, Block Pushing, and 5-meter Sprint. Twenty teams competed, with only 12 earning entry into the main event. It was a heated competition for the final two spots, as four teams finished with 35 points and two others finished with 34.
Ultimately, Team Momo and the Bumblebees were the final two teams to make the cut, thanks to their impressive scores in Balancing (for the Bumblebees) and Funnel Endurance (for Team Momo). The two teams left out in the cold by way of losing the tie-breaker were Team Primary and the Jungle Jumpers. You can imagine the devastation felt by their fans.
Also finishing tantalizingly close to qualifying were the Snowballs and the Chocolatiers. It was the second time in the last five years that the Chocolatiers failed to qualify. Previously, when they failed to qualify in 2018, the Chocolatiers ran the concessions at the Arctic Circle venue and sold homemade chocolate bars and chocolate drinks to tournament fans. If that were a beauty pageant, they would surely have received the congeniality award.
When the dust settled at the conclusion of the ML2020 Qualifiers, the 16 teams had been decided. Two days before the Opening Ceremony, this year’s host and the three automatic qualifiers participated in the ML2020 Friendly Round as a warm-up for the real thing.
Choose Your Squad
It’s always fun to have a rooting interest, so we’ve created scouting reports on this year’s competitors for fans looking for a Marble team to root for. The following table shows four tiers of teams, from the favorites at the top to the rookies at the bottom.
The Favorites
The Savage Speeders (red with yellow and white) have a similar color scheme as the NFL team based in Washington that will be getting a new name sometime soon, but as of yet no one has suggested the Savage Speeders do the same. They’re one of eight teams who are appearing in their fifth Marble League tourney. They have one Marble League championship and two 2nd place finishes in the last four years and hold the records for most total medals (18) and most gold medals (8). This is a perennial powerhouse.
If you’re from Texas, there’s a good chance the O’rangers (orange, white, and brown) are the team for you. They have a similar color scheme as the Houston Astros and their logo features a star in the center and “rangers” in the name, making them the perfect team for the Lone Star state. Like the Savage Speeders, the O’rangers are competing in their fifth Marble League. They won the entire bowl of fruit back in 2017, just like the Houston Astros (although there was no “banging scheme” controversy for the O’rangers). The team consists of five siblings. Mandarin is the firstborn, but Kinnowin is the team captain. Clementin and Tangerin are the other two starters, with sister Orangin as the reserve.
The Contenders
The next tier of competitors includes five teams that have all finished on the podium at the conclusion of one or more seasons, but with different levels of experience. This includes last year’s champions, the Raspberry Racers (shades of magenta with baby pink stripes). In their two seasons, the Racers have won 11 medals, including one gold, five silver, and five bronze. Last year was a very impressive campaign for a team participating in just their second Marble League tournament. Overall, the top point-scorer for the Racers is team captain Razzy, followed by Rezzy, Rizzy, and Rozzy. There will be a quiz on all of this.
Like the Racers, the Hazers (smokey gray and white) are participating in their third Marble League. They finished 6th in 2018 and 3rd last year. That 6th place finish in 2018 raised eyebrows among Marble League fans because the Hazers seemed to appear out of nowhere. Even now, their backstory is a mystery and team members Hazy, Smoggy, Foggy, Misty, and Cloudy don’t want to talk about it.
In the middle of the second tier of teams are the Green Ducks (Army green with dark brown/black swirls), a British entry led by team captain Mallard and featuring her brother Billy, along with friends Quacky, Ducky, and Goose. They first started competing together in 2017 in the minor league circuit scattered throughout the British Isles. When Team Plasma retired after 2018, the Green Ducks applied for a spot in the Marble League 2019 Qualifiers, where they successfully earned a spot in Marble League 2019. It was a meteoric rise for a relatively unknown crew. Their success continued with a 2nd place finish last year, making them the most successful rookie team in the Marble League.
Mellow Yellow (yellow)would be up on the top tier of teams if not for their horrendous 15th place finish in 2018. Other than that bizarre season, Mellow Yellow has finished 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. When they plummeted from 3rd to 15th from 2017 to 2018, they became another piece of evidence to support the rumored “Third Place Curse” theory, which Marble League fans know is the belief that any team that finishes in 3rd place will struggle in the following season. Back in the day, long before they participated in the Marble League, the Mellow Yellow team met while working at a soda company in Amalanta. Unhappy with their jobs, they moved to Marblopolis and got their start in the Fruit Circuit before ultimately moving up to the Marble League. They are one of eight teams this year who are appearing in their fifth Marble League.
The Scandinavian Midnight Wisps (black with blue swirls) had their first foray into high stakes marble racing when they entered the 2017 Marble League Qualifier. They looked dead in the water heading into the final event, but pulled out a first-place finish in the Funnel Spin and earned a spot in the main tournament. Despite being inexperienced rookies, they finished 4th in Marble League 2017, then won the whole enchilada in 2018. They couldn’t maintain that success last year, when they finished 10th, but are hoping to rebound with a strong 2020 tournament.
The Wild Cards
The middle tier of teams includes two squads who have DNQs on their resumes. DNQ means “Did Not Qualify” and it’s the ultimate blemish for a team that qualified the previous year. Balls of Chaos (transparent with red, blue, and yellow) went from an 8th place finish in 2016 to the dreaded DNQ in 2017. They bounced back to finish 5th and 9th over the last two seasons. The four original members of Balls of Chaos—Anarchy, Clutter, Snarl, and Tumult—have been competing together since they were in youth leagues. Disarray joined the squad as a reserve in 2018.
Team Momo (dark green with blue and yellow swirls) has had a wild run over the last four years. They finished 4th in 2016, then 9th in 2017. Unfortunately, tragedy struck the squad that year in the Fidget Spinner Collision event when Momomomo collided with the Midnight Wisps’ Wispy and lost a chunk of glass, which caused the team to withdraw from the event. Momomomo was out for the rest of Marble League 2017, which likely contributed to their 9th place finish. Sadly, the injury wouldn’t be the last for Momomomo. In the Bobsled event in 2018, first Momomo suffered altitude sickness and was replaced by the reserve, Mimo. On the restart, Momomomo was injured and remained out for the rest of the run. With both teammates injured, Team Momo was unable to continue. They merged with Team Primary to form Team Momary, but were officially given the “WD” designation that stands for “withdrew.” Their bad luck continued when they failed to qualify for Marble League 2019 (the dreaded “DNQ”), giving them back-to-back disastrous seasons. Fortunately, it looks like they put that all behind them when they qualified for this year’s competition.
Despite earning a 3rd place finish in 2016, the Thunderbolts (blue with yellow swirls)underwent a complete roster reconstruction following the 2018 season. Saying goodbye were Bolta, Bolto, Bolty, Boltu, and Boltew, and coming aboard were Thunder (team captain), Lightning, Bolt, Shock, and Zap (reserve). Rumor has it, the original members simply lost their enthusiasm for the sport and chose to retire as a group rather than continue to compete. Many fans thought the entire organization would call it quits, but the team’s coach, Thunderstorm, recruited the newcomers and they were back in business. Unfortunately, the newbies didn’t have much success in 2019, as they finished 13th out of the 16 teams.
No team fell so far so fast as the Oceanics (dark blue with blue stripes) in 2019. Coming off a 3rd place finish in the 2018 Marble League, the Oceanics and their fans were ecstatic about hosting the 2019 competition. They hoped it would be their time to shine and they collectively dreamed of winning their first Marble League championship on their home turf. Alas, it was not to be. They performed particularly poorly in the water-related events, which was a colossal embarrassment for a team called the Oceanics. They ultimately finished dead last in the overall competition, with the lowest scoring average in Marble League history. While team members, the coach, and the owner squabbled amongst themselves after the final event in 2019, their embarrassed fans stormed the podium with a banner that read, “Noceanics.” It was a brutal experience for everyone associated with the team, but props to the Oceanics for making it back to Marble League 2020 by finishing 3rd in the Marble League 2020 Qualifier.
Formerly known as Team Galaxy, Team Galactic (transparent with brown and silver ribbons)changed their name to avoid a potential lawsuit when their followers mistakenly thought they represented the Galaxy brand. They have a history of performing well in qualifiers, but then all-too-often finishing in the lower half of the standings in the actual Marble League competitions. Their top performance was a 5th place finish in 2017, with last year’s 8th place finish being their second-best effort. By virtue of being the hosts of this tournament, they didn’t have to qualify this time around. As an aside, there are as-yet-unsubstantiated rumors that team captain Cosmo was named after a zany character on the TV show Seinfeld.
The Longshots
Crazy Cat’s Eyes (transparent with varying colored “cat’s eyes”) are one of the less-experienced teams in this competition, having participated in just two Marble Leagues. They finished 10th in 2018 and 11th in 2019. Despite their lack of success, they are well-known among fans as the models for the Marble League logo. They took their name from famous Marble Rally marblathlete Crazy Cat’s Eye, but are not officially affiliated with him. Their top performer in Marble League competitions is Red Eye, the team captain, with Green Eye and Yellow Eye the second and third-best marblathletes on the squad. Coach White Eye works hard to keep the team focused on seeing the big picture.
The Minty Maniacs (mint-green with blue and brown swirls) finished a disappointing 13th place in Marble League 2018, then didn’t participate at all in Marble League 2019. Instead, they teamed up with the Chocolatiers to manufacture “Mint Chocolate Condition”, a Marble League-branded mint chocolate ice cream, with proceeds dedicated to regional marble tournaments throughout the marble universe. Heading into the 2020 season, the Minty Maniacs came out of their short retirement and rededicated themselves to their craft. They made it through Marble League Showdown 2019 to earn a spot in the Marble League 2020 Qualifiers. A 6th place finish there landed them in Marble League 2020. Despite their longshot status, their recent success has revved up the hype machine and inspired their fans to dream of a Marble League 2020 championship.
The Hornets (black with yellow stripes)are one of two teams making their first appearance in the Marble League. The team consists of childhood friends Stinger and Wasp, along with Hive, Yellowjacket, and Vespa, the only female member of the squad (nicknamed “Speed Queen”). Vespa’s father, Swarm, is the team’s coach. The Hornets spent their early years in the Bug Circuit and are very excited to be competing in Marble League 2020. They have a longtime friendly rivalry with the Bumblebees, who are also appearing in their first Marble League competition. When the Hornets’ fans get really pumped up, their “BZZZZZZZ” chant can be heard throughout the venue.
The five members of the Bumblebees (yellow with brown stripes) were originally bugby players, but made the switch to this sport in 2010 when Bumble suggested it to Bea, Swax, Honey, and Bomble. They’re coached by a former cricket player, Queen. It’s an interesting combination of backgrounds, to say the least. To make it into Marble League 2020, the Bumblebees ran the gauntlet through the Marble League Showdown and the Marble League 2020 Qualifiers, where they finished tied in points with three other teams, but claimed the final spot by way of the tie-breaker. They are definitely the longest of long shots in this competition.
Marble League 2020 Is Well Underway
The official tournament began on June 21 with the Opening Ceremonies at the Andromedome, where King Stardust made his regal entrance and the official trophy was paraded in front of a stadium full of energetic fans. The teams made their way into the Andromedome and paid their respects to King Stardust, then fell into place and awaited the official lighting of the torch as commentator Greg Woods called all the action with his familiar melodic voice.
It’s quite likely that a marble doppleganger of John Oliver was somewhere in the crowd, as his Last Week Tonight show is the official sponsor of Marble League 2020. At the conclusion of each event, a donation is made to a different charity in the name of the winning team, courtesy of Last Week Tonight.
Once the Opening Ceremonies were complete, with all the pomp and circumstance you could imagine, the first event, Balancing, took place. I won’t spoil it for you. Over the last few weeks, there have been four more events, which can be viewed at these links:
July 3: Event 3—Funnel Endurance
July 9: Event 4—Newton’s Cradle
The great thing about Marble League 2020 is that every marblathlete in the competition is immune to COVID-19, so you can be sure that the season will be played to its conclusion. Be sure to get caught up on all the previous action and choose your favorite team before the next event.
