Creating the Ultimate Versatile Player
This thing is a thneed. A thneed, a fine something-that-all-people-need! It’s a shirt! It’s a sock! It’s a glove! It’s a hat! But it has other uses, yes, far beyond that!
-Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
Baseball players have become increasingly thneed-like. There are only 25 precious roster spots on each team, and with 12 or 13 of them going to pitchers, the position players have to be more versatile than ever. For example, Los Angeles Dodgers utilityman Enrique Hernandez has started games at all four infield and all three outfield positions this season. Just 20 years ago, the Dodgers carried Jim Eisenreich for most of the season despite being mostly limited as a part time left fielder and pinch hitter.
Jim Eisenreich was not a thneed, but Enrique Hernandez certainly is. No, he’s not great at any one position, nor is he that good of a hitter (.232/.308/.413 for his career). But he’s capable of being used pretty much anywhere the team needs him, which makes him an ideal modern bench piece. Still, he’s not the absolute perfect utilityman, and if you remember how we ranked utilitymen before the season, he was a “Tier 2” utility guy. There is at least one big thing he could do better.
Waiting for that big think piece on how the ideal two-way player is a knuckleballer.
— Christina Kahrl (@ChristinaKahrl) June 11, 2018
Challenge accepted, Christina Kahrl! Of course the ideal two-way player is a knuckleballer! Why didn’t anyone think of this before?!?* Someone call the Dodgers and tell Hernandez to get to work on a knuckleball! But Kahrl asked for a “big think piece,” so let’s think even bigger. If we could we create the ultimate versatile player by sewing together body parts of other ballplayers, who would we use? Time to play Dr. Frankenstein!
R.A. Dickey‘s Knuckles
Let’s get this one out of the way. Obviously, he has to be a knuckleballer. Unlike any other type of pitcher, knuckleballers put very little strain on their arms. This allows them to pitch effectively more frequently and for longer outings. If we’re creating a two-way versatility monster, fatigue recovery is key.
Two-way sensation Shohei Ohtani is the only real blueprint we have for a two-way player, and he’s certainly not a knuckleballer. Ohtani is only 23-years-old and already the greatest two-way player in living memory, but he still requires lots of time off. He averaged 7.25 days rest between starts for the Angels, and only DH’d or pinch hit offensively. He also had plenty of days in which he rested both his arm and his bat. Even with all of the rest, he still damaged his UCL, and we won’t see him play again for a long time.
We want a player who can do everything. For that to happen, he’ll need to rest as little as possible, which necessitates reliance on the knuckleball. If you don’t want R.A. Dickey’s knuckler, use Tim Wakefield‘s, Charlie Hough‘s, or whoever else.
Pat Venditte‘s Arms
All pitchers have two hands, ten fingers, and 28 knuckles (with notable exceptions like Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown and Antonio Alfonseca). Why should our baseball thneed only use half of them? Pat Venditte, a Dodger teammate of Enrique Hernandez, is famous for throwing both left and right-handed.
There’s just one problem: knuckleballers don’t usually have a platoon advantage. For some reason, nearly all of them are right-handed. Here’s the platoon splits for a few of the more noteworthy knucklers in history.
| Pitcher | OPS vs. LHH | OPS vs. RHH |
| R.A. Dickey | 0.729 | 0.750 |
| Charlie Hough | 0.687 | 0.685 |
| Phil Niekro | 0.685 | 0.671 |
| Tim Wakefield | 0.764 | 0.724 |
| Hoyt Wilhelm | 0.612 | 0.584 |
A switch-pitching knuckleballer probably wouldn’t have an advantage by facing a same-sided hitter (assuming he’s equally good with both arms). Regardless, this puts even less wear on either arm and increases the usefulness for his manager. I think.
Jose Ramirez‘s Bat
It’s extremely hard to hit major league pitching while batting either righty or lefty. Very few players are able to do both with much success. There are a few great switch-hitters dispersed throughout baseball history, such as Mickey Mantle, Eddie Murray, and Chipper Jones. Perhaps the best of all present-day switch-hitters is Cleveland Indians third baseman Jose Ramirez. He’s following up his breakout 2017 season with a 1.007 OPS this year, the highest in baseball among all switch-hitters. In fact, it’s fourth best in baseball by any hitter, regardless of handedness.
There are a handful of other switch-hitters enjoying very good seasons at the plate this year, such as Francisco Lindor, Ozzie Albies, and Jed Lowrie. But we’ll take the cream of the crop, and right now that’s clearly Ramirez.
Andrelton Simmons‘s, Lorenzo Cain‘s, and Austin Barnes‘s Gloves
Defense is a bit of a tough one for our thneed. Only four players have spent time at all seven infield/outfield positions in 2018: Hernan Perez (who also pitched!), Sean Rodriguez, Andrew Romine, and our old pal Enrique Hernandez. Perhaps we should just use one of these guys and call it a day, but we’re trying to build the ultimate two-way player, after all. This requires a few assumptions:
- A great CF can play both LF and RF.
- A great SS can play both 2B and 3B.
- No natural IF or OF can play catcher very well.
- Between the CF, SS, and C, someone should be able to figure out 1B.
As Hanley Ramirez taught us when he tried to move from shortstop to left field, we should never make assumptions about position switching. Nevertheless, if these assumptions are true most of the time, we can sew together the best defensive players at CF, SS, and C. Lorenzo Cain leads all CF in both DRS (11) and UZR (4.7). There are maybe 5 or 6 guys who could all claim the title of Best Shortstop of 2018, so we’ll give it to Andrelton Simmons, who blew away everyone in 2017 with 32 DRS. Austin Barnes leads all catchers with +4.85 calls/game as a pitch framer, while also dabbling as a second baseman. That’s a nice bonus for our (th)needs.
Byron Buxton‘s Legs
This shouldn’t require much explanation. Byron Buxton is on top of Statcast’s Sprint Speed Leaderboard at 30.5 ft/s. He’s also 46-51 as a base stealer in his career, and he’s only been thrown out once in 35 attempts since last season. For further evidence, watch him burn rubber below.
Yeah. Those are the legs we need.
There we have it: a switch-hitting, switch-pitching knuckleballer that plays every position and can’t be caught on the basepaths. By the time Enrique Hernandez retires, there will probably be three guys like this on every team.
*Actually, it has been done before, sort of, by a few players. Lots of position players experiment with knuckleballs just to mess around. One example is Hall of Famer Wade Boggs, who twice pitched in the majors throwing knucklers.
